Addison Trail High School

I am in the proccess of writing a novel. Its taken about a year to get what I wanted to write about together, and its still a work in progress. I have just written the first paragraph (rough draft), tell me what you think! Thanks so much! :] <3 [:

Abigail Robinson could not help but to feel jealous of Addison as she stared down at yet another college letter, unopened in its prestigious envelope. As if her good looks were not enough, with her long brown hair and bright green eyes, she was possibly as smart as Albert Einstein. On the outside Abigail was supportive of her best friend, telling her to ‘just open it already, you know you got in’. However, on the inside she secretly hoped Addison was rejected from just one university she had applied to.
“Yes! I got in! I think this is the one..” Addison’s voice trailed off as she read her acceptance letter.
“Surprise surprise.” Abigail said with more then enough sarcasm in her voice.
“Well, your happy for me right?” She replied, acting as though the last five letters from colleges had rejected her and this was her only chance for a real life. Abigail paused and looked at her best friend, knowing that she could not tell her the truth. ‘After all, everyone lies right?’ Abigail thought to herself.
“You know I am. What kind of friend would I be if I wasn’t?” One of Addison’s best abilities was that she could see right through Abigail, and could point out every time she was lying.
“Abby, why are you so upset? I mean its not like you don’t have five great Universities totally scooping you out right now. You are good at what you do.” She said, as though trying to persuade Abigail. This was not the problem. She knew she was a good soccer player, better then most of her team. But soccer was not her passion. In fact, she didn’t have a passion. Nothing in life felt right, like it had for Addison. She had wanted to become a teacher all her life, even took college level courses in Elementry Education in her junior year of high school. For Abigail, nothing clicked. It was as if that entire half of her was missing somewhere out at sea, waiting to be discovered.

It's nice, but perhaps better comparisons with the characters and slightly more description.

2009-04-23 16:08:35 by Holly

Blazettes, Orchesis and Cheer perform a go pink routine for 2009!